On behalf of my father and sisters I would like to thank everyone for coming here today to celebrate the life of my mother Enid Dean.

Mum was a very private woman. She would have hated all this fuss and attention. But she deserves it.

Mum was the most special, humble, genuine, giving, hard-working, funny, resilient & inspirational woman I have ever met. In truth there are not enough words I can say here today to do true justice to her memory.

She was born Enid Mary Martin in Maidenhead on 15 September 1933, the 3rd youngest of 8 children. Her childhood years were far from easy. Indeed, aged 7, circumstances saw the family break up and mum and other of the younger siblings were put into care. For the next 9 years she stayed between Dr Barnados homes and foster care until she ran away aged 16. These were not happy years for mum & while she has recounted some stories from her time in the homes, there is much she has taken with her which we will never know. What we do know is that these days would play a large part in shaping the woman that she became.

One solace for mum was that she spent these years in the company of her younger sister Diana. This created a bond between them that lasted until mums passing and even though it is more than 40 years since Diana moved to Australia they maintained regular contact. In fact my mums first foreign holiday was only around 25 years ago to visit Diana in Adelaide, something I know was very special to her.

When mum ran away from the homes she came to settle in Marlow. It would not be too long before she met and married her first husband Bob and shortly afterwards my sisters Helena and then Krstina were born. Sadly however, when both children were very young Bob died in a motorcycle accident leaving mum to raise 2 young children alone

Sometimes out of tragedy good things can come. At the request of mum’s brother-in-law, my father Dennis, who had also tragically lost his first wife Margaret, called on my mother’s house to do some tiling in her bathroom. Little did dad know that this was a set-up, to try to get them together?Well, it worked, thanks in no small part to my mother’s persistence. A first date with the children at the seaside was followed by their first and only trip together to the cinema, to see that romantic classic, King Kong

Within 3 months they were married, not surprisingly it was my mother who instigated this, and within 9 months the marriage was blessed with the arrival of twin girls, Moira and Julia. In a year dad had gone from living alone to having a wife and 4 children. Needless to say times were tough forthem both in those early days.

Circumstance and even practicality may have brought my mum and dad together but it has been love that has kept them together for more than 51 years. Their bond was always clear to see and they raised their 5 children and 3 dogs in a happy home, worked together as a perfect team.

However, every team needs a captain, and this is a role mum took on easily. Mum looked after the money, every week doing what we knew in the family as "the book", the record of money coming in and going out of the house. She did this right up until her final week, always the books balanced to the penny

But it was not just on the money side that mum took the lead. I especially have much to thank her for, for her persistence in wanting another baby, though it took 6 years for her to persuade my dad before he relented. Her resilience in stopping my dad naming me Percival is something I will also be forever be grateful to her for. Mum loved being pregnant and as dad has said, she never looked better or felt better than when she was

Mum was a great mother to her 5 children. Our childhoods are full of memories of:
• day trips to the seaside, getting lost and bickering over map reading,
• mums love of going Into the sea on the LILO,
• of the children all lining up on bath night,
• of her old tights being used as our Christmas stockings, crammed with Satsuma’s, chocolate variety boxes and other goodies,
• of waiting our turn for each family Christmas present to be handed out and opened individually, which took ages but built great excitement,
• of being bribed with sweets and fizzy drinks to stay in and watch the fireworks from inside the house on bonfire night
• And of fantastic home cooking such as steak and kidney puddings, chicken pies and soups.

There is so much more. She gave us the childhood that she herself never had. We were not rich but we wanted for nothing.
But above all mum was always there for us, whatever the situation, as children and as adults. Not once can I think of a time where she put herself first.

She helped us when we left home, took us back when we needed to come back again, was a tremendous listener to our problems, fantastic grandmother and babysitter to our children and so much more besides

But as well as being an excellent wife and mother, she was a fantastic person in her own right

She was a creature of habit. Early in their marriage dad mentioned that he liked tomato sandwiches. Well every day for the next few years dad would have a packed lunch of tomato sandwiches for work until finally he summoned up the courage to ask for something different, to which my mum replied quite perplexed "well I thought you liked tomato sandwiches"

She was a tremendously hard worker, holding down numerous jobs to supplement the family income, as well as looking after her brood of children. These ranged from clothes making, to cleaning, from shop assistant to school dinner lady and more besides

She was always busy in the home too. If she ever sat down she would be knitting, sowing, doing jigsaws, puzzles or the like

However her passion was her garden, which in spring and summer was always an array of beautiful colours. She would spend hour after hour in her garden and greenhouse which would be crammed full of plants

She was tremendously house proud. Our house was always well kept, clean and tidy, until that is you looked into the drawers and cupboards where you would discover an Aladdin’s Cave of useless artefacts. Mum was from the make do and mend generation and never liked to throw things away, which amidst the sadness of her passing has caused our family much amusement as we have started to discover the true extent of her hoarding

This thriftiness, when combined with her excellent clothes making skills, was however to work to our advantage as a family. Mum would buy material, re-use old buttons, rummage for material in jumble sales and re-use old garments to make clothes for us for school plays or general wear. Her excellent skills ensured we always looked nice.

She always loved a bargain and in later years was a regular visitor to the 99p shop, the £1 shop nearby being too dear. She would avidly seek out value in the shops & has been known to buy things she did not even want or like if the price was good enough

Mum was a tough lady. She was not one for great outward displays of emotion and definitely not one to complain. She just got on with things. She suffered badly with her back for almost half of her life but never let it stop her doing things

And she was so funny, often without meaning to be. She would often speak without thinking and it caused us hours of laughter:

• if you visited for too long she’d often say “isn’t it time you went home” & has even been known to get your coats in case you didn’t get the hint
• or the time in a supermarket where she saw a lady wearing a hair piece and announced, rather loudly, “that lady is wearing a wig”
• recently in hospital, when mum was sick and not saying much and my sister was a little emotional and my mum barked “Baby”

The list is just too long. There was no malice in any of her comments, often she didn’t even mean what she said. It is just showed, despite her years, her innocence and genuine character

And this is why she was so liked by those who knew her. She and dad are well known in our local dog walking community and at weekend, when I took the dogs round the local field, everyone would recognise their dog, stop me, ask how they were doing and asked me to pass on their regards. This made me feel very proud

Mum, you graced this planet for 80 years. It wasn’t long enough. I know you wanted to go before dad. I guess you got your way again

Sometimes out of tragedy good things come

You have left a void in our hearts that can never be filled but a bucket load of memories that we are going to make sure live through many future generations of our family. A truly great lady, you were the perfect wife, mother and friend. You will always be here with us, in our hearts

You never thought you were good at much. You were so wrong. For the love you gave to us, the sacrifices you made for us and the joy that you brought to us, there are only threewords left to say……Thank You Mum


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